And The Truth Will Set You Free
by Elise2
Summary: Newly edited and revised version. Please read again. Amanda is attacked and repercussions affect the entire family. Contains mature themes, graphic violence.
1. A Night to Remember

Disclaimer: Scarecrow and Mrs. King is copyrighted to Warner Brothers and Shoot the Moon Production Company. No copyright infringement is intended. This story is copyrighted to the author and may not be used without permission. 

Synopsis: Amanda is attacked in a random act of violence that has repercussions for the entire family.

WARNING: Graphic violence against women is depicted. Proceed at your own discretion.

Author notes: Feedback is welcome, but if you hate the story and have to trash it, please reply with your concerns privately to my E Mail. This is a hard story to read as it concerns a topic that touches one in four women. Thanks to Beth for her Beta reading, suggestions and support.

Time: After the series is over.

"And The Truth Will Set You Free"

Part 1

"Mother," called Amanda as she hustled down the stairs. "Phillip, Jamie, hurry up. Mother!!"

"I am right here, Amanda," said Dotty emerging from the kitchen with a covered plate in her hands. "Now, here are the cookies. Phillip is waiting to drive you. Lordy, I am so glad you get to teach him and not me. Jamie and I will be along in time for the concert. Now, just go on along. I only wish Lee could be here to see Phillip tonight. Oh, well, such is the life of an international spy, I suppose."

"Mother," Amanda started, rolling her eyes heavenward. "You know better than to talk about that."

"Amanda, I was joking. Now, just calm down and enjoy your evening. It's not everyday your first born gets to perform with a jazz trio of such national reputation, and one with a King in it, of all things. King Edmund, well, I just can't get over it." Dotty shook her head as she went up stairs to change for the evening.

Amanda headed out to the car. Phillip was waiting to drive her to the local theater where tonight's charity concert was going to be held. A lot of Agency people were going to be there tonight, not just for security reasons but to hear Phillip play and she was nervous for him. Phillip was growing up way too fast. He was 16 already , edgy to get his regular driver's license, but Amanda and Lee had impressed on him the importance of being a good driver. They would not give consent for him to go before they knew he was ready to handle the responsibility. Unknown to him, Lee had planned to take Phillip next week. He and Amanda agreed that Phillip was ready and they wanted to surprise him. 

So much had been going on in the last 6 weeks that Amanda would be glad when tonight's concert was over, all the refreshments clear away and she could go home and put her feet up. It was exciting to have Phillip chosen to play with King Eddie's trio as part of the "Jazz Up Our Schools" fundraising effort. Amanda was head of the refreshments committee. Phillip had given up the last 3 weeks of his summer vacation to practice all day, every day. King Eddie's trio was the headliner of the concert and the tickets had been sold out for weeks.

************************************************************************

Part 2

The concert was a resounding success and the bake sale/refreshments went over very well. Amanda and the other volunteers stayed after the rest of the crowd had left to do the clean up. Phillip had gone home with Dotty since tomorrow was a school day and Amanda didn't know how late she would be cleaning up. Billy had stayed behind to compliment Amanda on all her hard work. He was about to start helping clean up. Francine had to drag him away. The two had ridden together and Francine had to drop Billy by the office before she could get home.

Finally the last of the trash was emptied, the ice buckets dumped out and dried. The few leftovers were taken by Mr. Johnson to be put in the teachers lounge as a morning treat along with a note explaining their origins. Amanda sighed as she locked the door behind the group as they walked to their cars. Henry Johnson, one of the music teachers at the school, had stayed to help and he waited until all the women were in their cars and safely on the road before leaving the theater parking lot. Amanda Stetson, whose son Phillip had performed well tonight, waved as she turned left and he turned to the right, headed to the nearby all night grocery to pick up some ice cream for his pregnant wife.

Amanda got about 5 blocks before she noticed a strange thumping sound. Pulling over under a streetlight, she got out and circled the car. "Oh, great," she muttered to herself. "A flat tire is all I need. Maybe I can find someone to change it for me."

She looked up and down the street but it was deserted. A shiver ran through her but she dismissed the uneasy feeling and reached for the car phone.

"Mother, yes, I am on my way home, but, .. yes the concert was wonderful and everyone was so impressed, Mother…Mother, MOTHER, will you please let me talk?" Amanda loved her mother but was sometimes impatient when she rambled on and on like she did. Thank heavens she didn't suffer the same problem. "Mother , I have a flat. Yes, I am SURE it is flat. Well, I am going to change it of course. Yes, Mother, I do know how, it's one of those things they teach you in spy school ,you know. " She said, gently teasing her mother. "Well, I just wanted you to know I would be delayed. Is Lee home? No? Well, have you heard from him? No, ok, well ,I'd better get going on this or I'll never get home. Yes, I am always careful, you know that. I'm on Elm near Woodington. Yes, just past the new dress shop. Can you stay with the boy's until I get there? Thanks, Mother. Bye."

Amanda knew how to change a tire. She had known before joining the Agency but they really had taught that in basic training. She just didn't have to do so often and was not looking forward to the task. Muttering under her breath about "stupid tires and flats and where is a husband when you need him", she got down to work. Amanda had the jack out and in position and was trying to loosen the nuts when she got that crawling feeling down her spine that meant something was not right.

Amanda stood and turned to find a man standing about 10 feet behind her. Holding the tire iron in front of her she asked "Can I help you?"

"Well," he began, "maybe you're the one who needs help. Shall I change that tire for you, ma'am?" he asked.

"No, thanks, I have it under control. My husband is on his way, " she instinctively lied. Something about this guy made her uneasy. But, hey, she was trained by the Agency to take care of herself. She could do this. 

"Really, please let me help," the stranger insisted, drawing closer. "I can loosen those nuts much easier than a little thing like yourself. Man, I think they use super glue to put them on with at the shop, don't you?"

Amanda backed up against the car. "No," she insisted, "Thank you but I'm fine. If you wouldn't mind going down to see if my husband is almost here, that would help." She said the last with a smile as the man nodded politely and turned to walk to the end of the street. She watched him standing at the corner, peering both directions and turned back to the car. Succeeding in loosing the stubborn nuts, Amanda jacked up the car. She had glanced up to see the stranger still standing at the corner then turned back to wrestle the tire off the axle. 

Amanda had just put the flat tire in the trunk when that creepy feeling came back over her. Her hand closed around the tire iron and she swung around as the stranger tried to grab her from behind. The tire iron hit him on the forearm and he swore in pain. Amanda drew her arm back again for another strike but his fist lashed out at her. She ducked, missed her swing and was trapped against the trunk. Pushing backward, searching for a way to escape Amanda felt the car rock on it's shaky jack. Pushing harder against the trunk, Amanda succeeded in knocking the car off the jack and it fell with a loud crash. In the deafening silence that followed, Amanda screamed at the top of her lungs.

The man cursed, swinging his fist towards her again, connecting with her shoulder. Amanda scrambled for room to fight, her weeks of unarmed combat training coming back to her. But the assailant was giving her nowhere to run. She was pinned against the car. Desperate, she feinted to one side and tried to dash out the small opening the man left on his right side. She almost got through but he grabbed her sweater. 

Quickly pulling her arms out of the sleeves, Amanda kicked off her heels and began to run into the bushes ahead of her. The man gave chase, he was right behind her. Amanda tripped in the dark over a large rock and went down on the ground. The stranger threw himself on top of her and put his hand over her mouth as she drew breath to scream once again. Amanda struggled but had struck her head in the fall and was dizzy. She succeeded in raising her knee to his groin and heard a muffled yelp when she felt it connect. But the assailant did not let go. 

"So, you want to play rough?" He drew back his hand and struck her face repeatedly until Amanda was barely conscious. "Now, " he said with savage satisfaction in his voice, "Now, let's have some fun."

Part 3

Lee arrived home disappointed that his flight from New York had been delayed. It had caused him to miss the concert. He knew that Phillip would understand but he also knew that the boy would be disappointed that his step-father had missed seeing the crowds reaction. 

Lee knew that the Agency would have video taped the concert for security reason and vowed to get hold of the tape, suitably edited, for the family to keep. Well, being the senior agent did entitle him to some perks after all.

Lee was surprised to find Dotty at the house and Amanda not returned home yet. It was almost midnight and Amanda was not given to staying at these charity things that late. 

"Hey, guys, I'm home," he called as he entered the back door, smiling to himself. Even after all these years, he still preferred entering the house that way. Tromping footsteps announced that neither Phillip nor Jamie was in bed 

"Lee, hey, great you're home. Man, the concert was so great. You should have been there. King Eddie rocks!! He invited me to visit him next summer, do you think I can?" Phillip rambled on. He was so like his mother.

Dotty entered the kitchen as Lee had just finished hugging Jamie. She made a bee line for him and enfolded him in her arms. "Oh, Lee, welcome home, how was your trip? Are you hungry? I think there is some leftover Beef Wellington in the fridge. Let me warm it up for you. Now what are you two scamps doing still up? Get, get, get, back to bed, both of you. Your mother will have my hide if you're still up when she gets home."

"Speaking of my wife," Lee still felt a warm glow whenever he could say those words in front of his new family. "Where is she? I thought she'd be home by now."

"Well, she called about 10 minutes ago. Seems like she has a flat tire and had to stop and fix it. I don't know why she hasn't bought those new tires that don't go flat…Well, listen to me ramble on. Anyway, she was changing the tire and asked me to stay until she or you got home."

"I'll just give her a call, see if she needs any help. You know how these 'weak, helpless females' are," Lee said with a wink to the boys as they grinned back at him. "Now, your grandmother is right, you two, get back to bed and go to sleep or at least make your mother think you are when she gets home, deal?"

"Yeah, right. Wouldn't want to upset Mom," they agreed, saying goodnight to their grandmother and going back to their rooms.

Lee crossed to the phone and punched in Amanda's number. It rang and rang as Lee listened, growing concerned.

"There was no answer?" Dotty asked. Lee shook his head, digging his keys out of his pocket. "Well, she said she was on Elm near Woodington."

"Thanks, Dotty, I'll just go see if she needs any help." Lee answered and, whistling, headed out to surprise his wife.

***********************************************************************************

Amanda struggled to keep calm. It was clear what the man wanted and if she could just stay calm, Amanda knew that she had a good chance of getting away with little more than a scare. His hands groped her body and began to kiss her lips. She forced herself not to react. Let him think she was stilled dazed; it would lower his guard. She felt his weight lift off hers for a moment but even as a plan began to form in her mind he was back. He was grabbing her face again. 

"Oh, God," thought Amanda sickly, "he's not… "

But he was. He pushed her mouth open and pushed himself inside of it. Amanda gagged and then opened her mouth as far as it would go. The man smiled in pleasure. "See, just enjoy and it will be good for both of us," he moaned. Pushing deeper for a moment he pulled back, intent of on making her caress him at the same time. Her hands came up willingly and cupped his balls. He began to push forward again when he felt a searing pain. The little bitch had bitten him!! He pulled out of her. That act was followed by another agony as she twisted his balls like she was trying to tear them off while she screamed like a banshee. Angered beyond reason, the man grabbed her by the throat and squeezed until she lay unmoving under him.

Now he was mad. "Stupid little bitch," he thought. "All I wanted was a bit of fun and she just about castrated me. Well, she's gonna pay now. I'm gonna hurt her."

*****************************************************************************************

Lee arrived at Amanda's car to find it deserted. It had fallen off the jack and his first though was that Amanda was trapped underneath. He grabbed the flashlight and peered under the car but saw no sign of her. Looking around he spotted her sweater on the ground and the tire iron laying nearby. Lee began to get a bad feeling about this scene. Looking in the front seat he saw that her purse was still there and the keys were on the seat beside the phone.

Lee returned to his car and put in a call to the agency for a response team. It looked like Amanda had been abducted. He pulled his gun and looked around. Standard procedure in this case was to wait for back up but Lee Stetson had never obeyed the rules in his life and wasn't about to start now. He went looking.

****************************************************************************************

Amanda groggily shook her head. She felt the cool night air on her legs. As awareness returned fully, she remembered where she was and what was happening. The stranger had pushed her skirt up around her waist and was pulling her undergarments down. She struggled to escape him but he struck her again. Dizzy, Amanda knew that she had to keep fighting. She knew that if she didn't get home soon that Mother would come looking for her. Amanda scooted back, trying desperately trying to put space between her and her attacker. If she could get to her feet, maybe she could find a weapon, a branch or a rock. At this point she would settle for a handful of dirt but the ground they were lying on was hard packed and nothing would scrape up. 

The attacker turned back and caught at her ankle, pulling her back towards him with a snarl. "You are not getting away from me, you little witch." He pushed her down and threw himself on top of her, intent on inflicting injury and agony.

Amanda drew a deep breath, disregarding the agony in her throat. She screamed again and again with all her might. The attacker casually back handed her across the face and prepared to enter her. Amanda's cries dwindled to heart breaking sobs, calling for Lee.

*************************************************************************************** 

Lee heard a rustling in the underbrush, he paused trying to locate the sound. He heard the sound of a blow and then Amanda's scream. He tensed, not knowing which way to go, the sound having echoed off the building surrounding the area causing him to have trouble tracking the direction.

"Lee, Lee, oh, Lee, please help me!!" he heard the soft cries coming from his left. Circling around he broke through the screen of bushes and encountered a gruesome sight. There was Amanda and some scum on top of her, trying to rape her. Lee hurled himself across the intervening space and drug the man off of Amanda, throwing him backward. He spared a glance for Amanda, seeing her disheveled condition and rage ran like a fire through him. Kneeling beside her, he tried to comfort her but she was too disoriented to register his presence and tried to push him away.

Lee turned to see Amanda's attacker getting up. He crossed to the creep and began to hit him. The man tried to defend himself but he was no match for Lee's fury and training. The sight that had greeted Lee as he entered the clearing filled his mind and he wanted to beat the man who had dared to touch his wife to a bloody pulp. The man soon collapsed to the ground and Lee straddled him, continuing to strike repeatedly, filled with rage.

*****************************************************************************************

"Lee, Lee…LEE, stop, stop!" Lee felt hands pulling him back and realized that he was no longer alone in the clearing. Francine was standing next to Amanda, covering her with a blanket. For one heart stopping moment, Lee thought he had been too late, that Amanda was dead. But Francine was helping Amanda sit up, using the blanket to cover her torn and bloody clothes. Billy had pulled Lee away from the man on the ground. Leading Lee away, Billy started to speak but Lee interrupted him.

"Wait, Billy, we've got to cuff him, don't let him get away," Lee began. 

"OK, Scarecrow, it's ok. He won't get away." Billy spoke soothingly to Lee. He led Lee out to the street where an ambulance had just pulled in. The paramedics headed to Lee but Billy jerked his head back to the clearing. "Back there," he said. "Rape victim, one of ours. This is her husband." 

Two paramedics continued the journey towards Amanda while the other sat Lee on the back step of the ambulance and began to tend to his hands. Lee just now was noticing that his knuckles were battered and bloody, the skin broken in many places. It felt like he may have broken a couple of bones as well. He sat numbly while the paramedic tended to his wounds. 

Soon the other paramedics emerged from the underbrush with Amanda on a stretcher. They had an IV in her arm and Lee tried to jump up to go to her. Billy held him back, "Let them do their job, Scarecrow. Francine is with her." Lee shook him off and lurched over to his precious wife, the light of his life. She was battered and bruised, her face puffy from the blows that had been inflicted and her throat was a mass of red marks. It looked as if the attacker had tried to strangle her.

Lee held out his hand and the paramedics stopped beside him. He took her hand in his, looking at his fragile flower of a wife. She barely raised her eyes to his but whispered. "I knew you would come for me. You always do." And then she fell silent. The paramedics motioned him back and he let go of her hand with a lingering kiss as they placed her in the ambulance. Francine climbed in behind her and sirens wailing in the night, they whisk her away from him.

Lee turned to Billy, cold fury radiating from every nerve. Another ambulance had arrived as well as the police. The paramedics approached Billy who again gestured with his head to the underbrush. With a questioning look, they began gathering their gear when Billy stopped them with a hand. Slowly shaking his head, he indicated that it was not needed. Leaving the stretcher behind one of the paramedics entered the woods while the other approached the police officer headed their way and quietly conferred before disappearing into the woods with his partner. He soon returned with his partner and drove off.

"Billy, what's going on?" Lee demanded. "I know that creep is going to need medical attention. Why did they leave?" The detective approaching him distracted his attention.

"Stetson, Melrose, " he acknowledged them with a nod. Lee and Billy had worked with Castleberry in the past and knew he was a good man to have around. "Like to tell me what's going on?"

Quickly Lee opened his mouth to explain only to be stopped by Billy's hand on his arm.

"Stetson's wife was attacked on her way home." He stated baldly. "Lee came looking for her and caught the man in the act of raping her. He stopped the attack and ended the threat."

"Oh, really," replied Castleberry. "That must have been tough to walk in on. You OK, Stetson?" 

Lee nodded. Suddenly he couldn't talk and felt sick to his stomach. "Billy," he began. "Why didn't they bring him out of the woods? Don't tell me he got away."

Billy and Castleberry looked at him with pity in their eyes.

"No, Lee," said Billy. "He didn't get away."

"Then what? Billy," Lee demanded, his voice harsh with fear. "Tell me!"

"He's dead, Lee." Billy said bluntly. "You killed him with your bare hands."

To Be Continued.


	2. The Darkness Before The Dawn

Disclaimer: Scarecrow and Mrs. King is copyrighted to Warner Brothers and Shoot the Moon Production Company. No copyright infringement is intended. This story is copyrighted to the author and may not be used without permission.

Synopsis: Amanda is attacked in a random act of violence that has repercussions for the entire family.

WARNING: Implies graphic violence against women. Proceed at your own discretion

Author Notes: Feedback is welcome but if you hate the story and have to trash it, please do so in a private E Mail to me. This story is hard to read as it concerns a topic that touches one in four women. Thanks to Beth for her Beta reading, suggestions and support.

Time: After the series is over,

"And The Truth Will Set You Free" 

Part 4

Lee stared at Billy in numb disbelief. His night had gone from worse to unthinkable. Lee had killed people in the past, given his line of work that was a hazard of the job. He had even beaten people so badly that they had died of their injuries. Never before had he lost control of himself so completely that he had beaten them to death.

However, never before had he come upon a scene like the one that confronted him in the underbrush that night. That monster had been in the process of RAPING his Amanda. He deserved to die for his actions. And Lee had wanted to kill him. He just had not realized that he had done so in his rage.

Detective Castleberry was speaking to Billy. Lee vaguely heard things like "understandable rage, any husband would have done it,..Monster…better off" Lee gathered that this meant there weren't going to be any charges, not now anyway. When Billy took his arm to lead him away, he knew that was how things were going to be.

Billy took Lee's keys from his hand and gently pushed him in the passenger seat. Billy and Francine had gone to the concert together in her car. Francine had been dropping Billy back at the Agency to pick up his car when the call had come in from Lee. Strictly speaking, this was not an Agency matter but Lee had instinctively called the people he relied on the most. Billy had the night operator notify the Arlington PD and was pleased to see they had arrived in record time. He gave the keys to his car to one of the rookie agents with a request that it be dropped back at the agency.

Billy didn't start the car. He was worried about Lee. Ever since Billy told him that he had killed that monster, Lee had been silent. 

"Lee, Scarecrow? Are you with me here?" Billy asked, hoping for a response. "Lee?? Snap out of it, man! Amanda is going to need you." Billy knew those were the magic words when he saw Lee take a deep breath and come back to himself.

"Billy, I killed him. I beat him to death right there, in front of Amanda. Dear god, what must she think of me?" Lee buried his face in his hands, unable to face the thought of Amanda's condemnation. She wouldn't hurt a soul and he had just brutally beaten a man to a bloody pulp in front of her.

Billy was not expecting that reaction but on second thought it made sense. Lee was not dealing with the reality of what had provoked such fury in him. Billy knew that Lee was very protective of Amanda. It had been the source of much conflict in the past between Lee and just about everyone in the Agency at one time or another. Lee just could not accept that he wasn't there in time to prevent this from happening to Amanda. He was her knight in a sliver corvette and he had failed her this time.

"Lee, I don't think Amanda saw what happened. She looked pretty out of it to me. I don't think you have to worry about that. What you have to do is be strong for her. She has been through a terrible ordeal and she will need you and her family beside her as she works through it." Billy reassured him.

"Billy, our family! I've got to call Dotty. She must be frantic by now." He reached for the car phone and hit the speed dial that connected him to the center of his universe. 

"Dotty? Yeah, it's Lee. Listen, there has been a problem. No, not with the car, it's Amanda." 

Billy could hear Dotty's shrieks through the phone as Lee gave her the condensed version of what happened. He asked her to stay with the boy's until he got home and that he would break the news to them. Billy heard Dotty's sobs as she heard the things that Lee could not , would not say aloud. He reached out and took the phone from Lee's numb hand to speak to Mrs. West.

"Mrs. West, yes this is Mr. Melrose. Yes, I know it's just a terrible thing. No, I don't know yet and neither does Lee. He's not doing very well with this and I think that.. no, I understand that you are very upset also. Please just try to hang on until we know something and I will personally call you when I do." Billy hung onto his temper as he listened to Dotty rave. He could tell where Amanda had gotten her gift of rambling and normally it amused him but tonight was not the time to be amused. "Yes, I promise, yes, as soon as I know something. Yes, I will take care of them both. Alright, goodbye."

He hung up the phone with relief, glad to see that Lee had roused once again from his stupor during the call. Billy looked at him and Lee could just shrug his shoulders. "What can I say? Mother-in-laws." Lee and Billy shared a look that only married men can know when it comes to that topic and wisely let it go.

***************************************************************************************************

In the ambulance Amanda was semi conscious. She knew that Francine was with her. "Francine," she muttered. "Is Lee…" 

"Lee is fine, Billy is with him and they will be right along, Amanda." Francine took a deep breath but the hospital needed to know and it would be easier coming from a friend. At least she hoped that it would. 

"Amanda, did he …? Did he complete…?" 

Amanda looked at Francine with tears in her eyes and nodded then turned to face the side of the ambulance. The color drained out of Francine's face as she turned to the paramedic and saw the sympathy on his face. He put his hand on her shoulder and caught her as she swayed and finally lost her battle to keep her dinner.

Francine pulled herself back together by the time they reached the hospital. She dealt with the paperwork , devoutly wishing Billy were here to do this. She wondered how in the world she would be able to tell Lee what had happened to Amanda. It would destroy them both if they didn't deal with it and Lee was very capable of just shutting out anything this painful. After all, that had been his pattern for years, until Amanda had broken through and reached his heart. Francine was afraid that he would freeze up; in the process destroying everything he had learned in the past few years as well as destroying Amanda and everything they had built in the past few years. 

Francine was in the waiting room holding a cold cup of coffee when Lee and Billy arrived. Lee strode straight to her and waited.

"She's still being treated, Scarecrow." Francine slipped into agent mode to deal with the tension. " The doctor will be out when he has a good idea the extent of her injuries." 

Billy led Lee to the desk to check in and have his own injuries treated. Lee protested but had no choice when Billy pulled rank. The doctor examined Lee's hand, covered with scrapes and bruises. X-rays determined that there were no broken bones and he was bandaged up and returned to the waiting room.

Lee looked at the door leading to the exam area where his wife was, longing to charge in there. He wanted to sweep Amanda in his arms and make this whole nightmare go away. Instead he sprawled in the uncomfortable plastic chair, waiting and feeling useless. Whenever the door opened he tensed, ready to jump at the sign of a doctor coming towards him.

Billy and Francine saw the crime scene investigator team enter through the far door accompanied by Dr. McJohn. Lee, focused on the near door missed the new arrivals. Neither Billy nor Francine enlightened him.

After what seemed like an eternity the doctor made his way over to them. He beckoned the group into a nearby conference room.

"Mr. Stetson? " he began and shook Lee's hand as Lee identified himself. Glancing at the others in the room, he asked in a low voice "Do you want to hear this alone?"

"No, let them stay." Lee said. " I have no secrets from them."

"Very well, then, " the doctor cleared his throat. "Your wife is suffering from numerous contusions and a mild concussion. There are quite a few lacerations on her face, hands and forearms. She needed stitches in the corner of her mouth where it was torn." 

Francine winced, knowing even if the men did not what had caused that injury. 

"We want to keep her overnight. The CSI team will be there in a few minutes to take a sample. Did they catch the bastard that did this to her?"

"Oh, yes," Billy said softly. "You won't need the samples as evidence, please don't put her through that." 

"We need the evidence to put him away, sir," said the doctor firmly.

"No, you don't," corrected Billy. "There won't be a trial, he's dead."

Francine and the doctor were shocked at Billy's announcement. The doctor stepped to the doorway and motioned over a nurse. He whispered instructions in her ear. She exited the doorway, sparing a glance of pity at Lee, still slumped in his chair with shock.

"Can I see her?" he asked. "I need to see her."

"In a few minutes, Mr. Stetson, let us get her up to a room and sedated first. I'll have someone fetch you when she is ready." The doctor turned and left the room. Francine pulled Billy outside after him.

"He's DEAD!!" she screeched softly in Billy's ear. "My lord, Billy, what are the police going to do?" 

"Nothing, Francine, absolutely nothing. At least I hope not. Lee wasn't in his right mind when this happened and no one should hold him responsible for that monsters death. If I had been in his place, I would have done the same thing and so would any man."

Francine nodded, recognizing the wisdom in Billy's words. At least Amanda would not have to testify against that creep.

**************************************************************************************************

Lee stood at the doorway to Amanda's room. She was so frail, lying there in the ill fitting hospital gown. She looked like a china doll that had been dropped and cracked. Crossing the room to her side, Lee pulled the chair over to sit beside her and took her hand. He could see the bruises on the face and the strangle marks surrounding her neck. He felt his blood boil again at the thought of what she had endured. Taking deep breaths to calm himself, Lee continued looking over her. The stitches on the side of her mouth were very small, delicately done. There would hardly be a scar. He traced her lips with his finger, marveling again at the wonder of the woman he loved.

"Uh, oh, Lee.." her voice was low and husky. He took her hand and raised it to his lips. 

"I'm here Amanda, I'm here. You're ok, you're in the hospital but you'll be ok." He spoke soothingly to her and felt her drift off to sleep once more, holding securely to his hand, her lifeline in this nightmare. 

'I guess Amanda is rubbing off on me,' he thought,' I'm starting to ramble.'

Billy had called Dotty with the news that Amanda would be in the hospital overnight and that Lee was staying with her. Dotty would get the boys off to school and come to the hospital with fresh clothes for Amanda when she was discharged. Then he and Francine shared a cab home, leaving the Corvette for Lee and Amanda.

Part 5

Morning found Lee Stetson with his head at an awkward angle in the chair beside his wife's bed. Amanda awoke to see him sprawled uncomfortably beside her and opened her mouth to call his name.

"Lee.. " it came out in a strained whisper and Amanda's hand flew to her throat. Disoriented for a moment she looked around in a panic." Lee" There that was louder but she still sounded like a mouse. Realizing that her hand was captured in his, Amanda shook their hands to wake him.

Lee felt Amanda's hand moving his and came alert. Looking at her with relief that she was awake, he smiled the special smile that he reserved just for her.

"Morning, princess. How do you feel?" he asked as he leaned in to kiss her forehead. She opened her mouth but no words came out. Lee reached for the pitcher of water, pouring her a glass and easing the straw into her mouth. After a long slurp, Amanda sighed and started to speak.

"Lee, what happened, how did I get here?" Lee's heart sunk. Briefly he wondered if she was suffering from amnesia again but she knew who he was, right? So it couldn't be too bad, could it?

"Manda, what's the last thing you remember?" he questioned gently, barely noticing the nurse who had entered the room.

"Now, Mr. Stetson, don't push her," she bustled Lee away from Amanda as she took Amanda's temp and blood pressure. Lee stood by the door, watching with sharp eyes. He didn't trust anyone to take care of Amanda but himself. 

'Yeah, Stetson, you did such a great job taking care of her last night.' A vicious voice whispered in his head. 'Took such good care that she was attacked because you left her alone, alone, ALONE.' Lee shook his head, trying to dislodge the voice. He stumbled from the room down the hall towards the elevator. It was opening and Lee saw Dotty exiting. 

Dotty spied Lee and headed his direction. "Lee, well, I declare, you must have known I was coming. What are you, a mindreader?" Dotty took him by the arm and continued. "Well, I hope you can lead me to Amanda's room, I get so lost in these places. Too many directions, West Tower, North Wing, its just too confusing for a woman my age."

Rallying, Lee began to speak. "Now, Dotty, you thrive on it, you know that you do. Why, you could find your way anywhere, given enough time." He smiled down at his mother-in-law.

Dotty smiled back up at him. "Yes, I know, but let that be our little secret. My cover works much better this way." She gave him a wink and Lee gave a short laugh for the first time since he had left the house the previous evening.

Dotty smiled, seeing him relax. She had been terribly worried about Lee when he had called last night. That nice Mr. Melrose had called and let her know that Amanda was OK but Lee had not been able to talk to her and that upset her. She knew that Amanda would need Lee to be her rock in the next months while she came to terms with the attack.

"Dotty, you know what happened?" Lee said. "I …"

Dotty nodded, wanting to spare Lee the pain of having to say it aloud.

"Dotty, I want you to know…He paid for what he did to her. I..I..killed him. I beat him to death."

Dotty gasped in shock. She knew that Lee would move heaven and earth to protect her daughter but she had never realized how far he would go. And she knew that that knowledge would eat at him and Amanda until they were able to talk it out. Her heart ached for the two of them.

Lee looked sideways at Dotty as she gasped. He knew she was shocked and revolted. He was prepared for anything except what she did. She reached out with open arms and pulled him into her embrace, her tears flowing freely down her face. "Lee, oh, Lee, I am so sorry you had to go through that. You did the right thing, it's ok, it's ok…just let it all out now."

Lee Stetson felt his nerves crumble at this whole hearted acceptance of his pain. He leaned into her embrace and sobbed as if his world had ended. 

********************************************************************************************

Some time later, Amanda's nurse found the two of them in a private waiting room. Lee was still in Dotty's embrace but the sobs had quieted and he was resting with a peacefulness he had not know since he was a little boy before his parents had been killed.

"Mr. Stetson?" she spoke quietly, not wanting to disturb him if he was sleeping.

"Yes?" he sat up and wiped the remaining tracks of tears from his face, momentarily at peace. He could live with his actions now. He knew that he would have to justify them to the ghouls in IA but he hoped he could find peace within his soul.

"Your wife is awake and asking for you. She wants to leave the hospital. The doctor has been in to check on her and is writing her release orders now. He'll want to talk to you before you leave. Do you have some clothes?"

"Oh, yes, I have them right here. I'm her mother. Lee, why don't you go talk to the doctor while I help Amanda change?" She shooed him out the door and went down the hall to greet her daughter.

"Amanda" Dotty called as she entered the room.

"In the bathroom, Mother. Did you bring me something to wear?"

"Yes, dear, right here with me. Shall I come in and help you change?"

"Yes, please. I seem to be a little stiff this morning. And what happened to my face, did I lose a fight with a holly bush? It's all scraped up and I cut my mouth. I wonder how that happened?"

Dotty was a bit puzzled as she entered the bathroom. Didn't Amanda know why she was in the hospital? Catching sight of Amanda's bruises, Dotty gasped softly but quickly suppressed her shock. Deftly, she helped Amanda dress and brush her hair. Lee soon returned followed by the Bedside Bluebell with a wheelchair.

"All ready to go, see, Mrs. Stetson. Let's just get you in here and we'll give you a ride out to the car. Mr. Stetson, do you want to pull up to the discharge area and meet us?" The perky Bedside Bluebell was bustling Amanda into the wheelchair, looking for any loose belongings. She efficiently began herding the group out the door.

Dotty took Lee by the arm and pulled him aside. "We'll just get the car." She stated as she hustled him down the stairs. "Lee, what's going on? Amanda acted like she didn't even know why she was here. She never said a word about the attack or her injuries."

"I don't know, Dotty. She asked me what happened but the nurse interrupted us before I could talk to her. But, the doctor discharged her so it must be OK, right?" Lee tried desperately to convince himself.

Dotty pulled the Jeep around and Lee helped Amanda into it. The Corvette was just too low for her to get in comfortable with her bruises. Dotty drove home in silence with Lee following closely.

******************************************************************************************* 

Lee helped Amanda out of the jeep and lifted her in his arms to carry her to their room. She was dozing again. When he laid her on the bed, she did not stir. Leaving the door ajar so he could hear her if she called out, Lee went down to the kitchen where Dotty handed him a cup of coffee.

"What did the doctor say?" she went directly to the point. " What's going on, Lee?"

"The doctor said she might block out details of the attack until she feels stronger. He said that's not unusual when someone has experienced a trauma."

"Lee, that's bull and you know it. Amanda is strong. It would take more than this to break her. You two have been through some rough things together and she has been fine." Dotty held up her hand to forestall Lee's protests. "Lee, I am not stupid. Now, I don't 'need to know' but I can always tell. I am her mother, you know."

"Really, Dotty, I don't know any more than that. I'll have Amanda talk to the Agency shrink. I am sure that he can help her deal with it. I guess, this time, I need to talk about things as well." Lee fell silent, remembering and feeling the guilt starting to eat at him again. 'I felt so helpless. I was too late. She trusted me and I was too late.'

********************************************************************************************

Those words echoed in Dr. Phaff's office later that afternoon as Scarecrow relayed the events of the night before and his reactions to them. Dr. Phaff just listened as Lee poured out all his anger, his despair at not being in time to save Amanda.

"Lee, I think you did what came naturally to any man." Said Dr. Phaff, the Agency shrink as Lee sat in his office. "You wanted to protect your wife and you used the training that comes naturally to you to do so."

Lee just shook his head, not believing anything the doctor was trying to say to him. 

"I understand that IA and the Arlington PD are investigating. I know they want to talk to Amanda when she feels up to it. Do you want me talk to her first, given how you say she is acting?" said the doctor.

"Thanks, doc. But I doubt the cops will want her to talk to you first. I know that she will need to see you. How about this evening? Could you come by the house? I really think she needs to talk before this goes on any longer."

"Sure, Lee, I'll come by about 8. We'll talk more then. You know that this will affect the whole family, don't you? Have you told the boys yet?"

"No, I was waiting until they get home from school," looking at his watch, Lee jumped up." And that is in a half an hour. Gosh, I've got to get home."

Dr. Phaff smiled as he walked Lee to the door. "Gosh, indeed." He thought." Oh, Scarecrow, Amanda is rubbing off on you."

****************************************************************************************************

Lee arrived home as the bus pulled off from dropping Phillip and Jamie off. The two were roughhousing as usual when they spied Lee getting out of the car.

"Hey, Lee. What's going on? Why was Grandma here this morning? Don't tell me you and Mom had a mission after the concert?" Jamie joked with Lee as they entered the house. 

"Well, no. Not a mission," Lee spoke in a serious voice." But there is something I need to tell you." And he related the events of the previous evening to the stunned young men. After assuring them that the creep who attacked their mother was not going to hurt anyone again and that their mother was going to recover, Lee held out his arms to Phillip and Jamie. Both boys came over and the three men in Amanda's life comforted each other in a group hug.

Dotty had been listening on the stairs, assuming that this was something better coming from their step-father than from her. Men could relate better to each other at times like these. She remembered breaking the news to the boys of their mother's brush with death when she and Lee had eloped. She had never understood their reaction and finally just decided that it was a" man thing" and she never would understand. Joe had helped them deal with that one, she remembered.

Lee was here now for them. Hearing the silence, Dotty peered around to see them breaking apart and started to round the corner when the doorbell rang. "I'll get it," she called out, matching her actions to the words.

"Mrs. Stetson?" questioned the police woman standing at the door. 

"Oh, no, dear, that is my daughter. Are you here about last night? I guess you still need to talk to her. Oh, here's Lee. That's her husband. I guess you'd better talk to him. 

"Come on boys, let's have a snack and start on that homework." Dotty shooed the boys into the kitchen, leaving Lee facing the officer.

"Come in," he said, leading her into the living room. "Where's Detective Castleberry?"

"He's coming, I guess I am early. They always like to have a woman doing the questioning during this type of interview. Makes it easier for the victim to talk to another female."

Lee nodded and silence fell while they waited for Castleberry. When he arrived 10 minutes later, Lee filled them in on Amanda's blocking out the attack when she woke that morning. Not knowing if she had remembered anything yet, Lee led the way upstairs to see if Amanda was awake.

She wasn't but when Lee gently called her name she awoke with a smile on her face. "Lee, hi," she said softly. Glancing over his shoulder, Amanda saw the officers in the doorway. Her face fell. In a shaky whisper she said, "Oh, gosh, I had hoped it was just a nightmare."

Lee's heart ached to see her distress as he gathered her in his arms. Yet he could not help but be glad that she was remembering and he didn't have to explain to her what had happened.

"Mrs. Stetson," began the woman. "My name is Linda Gelmini. I need to ask you some questions."

Castleberry ushered Lee out of the room, over his protests. "You know the drill, Stetson. Now don't give me a hard time."

"But," Lee protested, "I haven't even had a chance to talk to her."

"Sorry, but you'll have all the time you need after we are finished." Castleberry firmly closed the door and Lee slumped down against the wall, trying to hear what was being said.

*************************************************************************************************

After what seemed and eternity, the door opened and the officers came out. Neither would meet Lee's eyes and he felt his heart clench. He looked past them into the room to see Amanda, the bruises standing out in stark contrast to her white face. 

"What?" he demanded. "What's going on?" 

"Stetson, why don't you come down to the station. We need to have a talk." Castleberry wanted to do this the easy way. "We still need to get your statement about last night."

"Sure," Lee said, absently. "Just give me a minute with my wife, OK?"

Officer Gelmini moved to block his entrance to the room. "Really, Mr. Stetson, you know that it would be better if we get you statement before you talk to her. I'm sure you watch the cop shows on TV." She gave him a smile as she closed the door behind her, taking Lee firmly by the arm. With Castleberry behind her, Lee was herded down the stairs and out the door. 

********************************************************************************************

At the Arlington police station, Lee was interviewed about the events he encountered the previous evening. Slowly, he recounted the encounter, beginning with his late arrival home and ending with his discovery of Amanda being attacked.

"Are you finished?" he asked, anxious to get home before Dr. Phaff arrived to see Amanda. In all the confusion of the police visit, he had forgotten to tell Dotty about the psychiatrist coming over.

"Not quite," said Gelmini. "Just one more question. What made you so sure the man was sexually assaulting your wife, Mr. Stetson?"

"What!!" Lee exploded from his chair. " I saw him, goddamnit, that's why. He was… he was.." Lee was overcome with the horror of what he had seen and could not speak.

"Well," began Detective Castleberry. "your wife has a slightly different tale. She says that he had just thrown her to the ground and was trying to strangle her."

Lee sat back; suddenly uneasy at the directions the session was taking. He knew that Amanda was still in shock and had blocked out the details. He explained to the officers his theory of why her story was different from his version, his concern for Amanda's mental state reflected in his voice.

"That could be the case. We'll be looking at the evidence from the forensic team to determine if she was actually assaulted. Just, eh, don't leave town, OK? We may need to talk to you again." 

"Sure, whatever. Hey, can I go now? I really need to get home before the shrink comes over to the house."

Detective Castleberry drove Lee back to the house. As Lee was getting out of the car, Castleberry put his hand on Lee's shoulder. 

"Stetson," he said. "You know, I don't blame you for your reaction. Hell, man, any one seeing a creep assault his wife would be tempted to do the same. But I am afraid you may have crossed the line, here. You know what I mean? This could cause real trouble down the line if your story doesn't check out."

Lee took a deep breath and reminded himself once again that this man was just doing his job. Lee knew that he had nothing to worry about. The man had been raping Amanda, he had seen it with his own two eyes and Amanda would remember, in time. He had plenty of time to devote to her. Billy had given him two weeks off when Lee had checked in before leaving the Agency to come home.

"Thanks, Castleberry. I know everything will be ok. I just need to get to my wife now, if you don't mind." Saying this, Lee exited the vehicle and hurried to the house.

Part 6

Amanda was sleeping again when he went up to her room so he sat and watched, drifting off to an uneasy sleep beside her. The demons were tormenting him again. 'You were too late, ha, ha, ha, too late. You cannot protect anyone. You are a fraud and now Amanda knows it. She was better off with Joe. This never happened when she was with HIM. Too late, too late.' Lee woke from the nightmare in a cold sweat. He checked that Amanda was still peacefully asleep and went down to see if Dr. Phaff had arrived.

Dr. Phaff arrived at 8 PM and Lee drew him outside to catch him up on the events of the afternoon. He related the police's assertion that Amanda remembered the attack differently and that they suspected him of over reacting to a situation that could have been handled in a much different way. He did not tell the good Doctor about his nightmare demons, figuring that he would deal with them later. Amanda needed him so much now that he didn't want to be distracted.

Dotty helped Amanda dress and come down to the living room. She was going to take the boys over to her apartment for the evening, saying that Lee and Amanda needed to be alone. Phillip and Jamie were very subdued as they saw their mother for the first time since her attack. 

Amanda gave a weak laugh, trying to cheer them up." Hey, did I finally get the Halloween make-up right?" No one laughed. 

Dotty gathered the boys and left, letting Amanda and Lee have some privacy to talk about the previous evenings event.

***************************************************************************************************

Lee and Amanda settled on the couch while Dr. Phaff took the chair nearest the bookcase. With notebook in hand, he began to talk to Amanda.

He had talked to her several times in the past as normal Agency medical checks. This time he started at the beginning, drawing a plan of her family relationships and how she felt about each of them.

Lee was starting to get antsy and volunteered to go make coffee. He didn't see where any of this was going. Lee just wanted to get Amanda to talk about the attack and work on getting over it. He heard the demons dancing in his head as he waited for the coffee to brew. 'Get over it, just get over it. She'll never get over it. You let her down, let her down and she'll never trust you again' Cackling, the imps danced in Lee's head until the shrill of the kettle brought him back to reality.

He made the coffee and returned to the living room. 

Amanda sat silent, her face calm. Lee poured the coffee and tried to figure out what he had missed. Dr. Phaff drank his coffee in silence also. The room was so quiet that Lee could hear the ticking of the Grandfather clock located in the upstairs hall. It was driving him nuts but he force himself to sit quietly, waiting.

"Amanda," Dr. Phaff spoke and Lee jumped. "Amanda, can you tell us about last night? What happened?"

Amanda looked at Dr. Phaff and at Lee. Suddenly Lee was afraid that the demons were right, that she NEVER would forgive him. He didn't know if he had the strength to sit here and hear her tell him about being attacked. He started to speak but Dr. Phaff, seeing the feelings reflected on his face, waved him to silence.

"Amanda? Lee and I are here for you. Do you still want Lee to be here with us?"

Amanda shook herself and gave Lee her brilliant smile. "Of course I want Lee here. He's always with me." Lee's heart sank at those words and he condemned himself once again for not being there for her the night before.

"Don't be so worried, sweetheart," she reached out and took his hand. "I'm fine, just a little bruised. It wasn't so bad."

She began telling them the story of the flat tire and the stranger approaching her. How she didn't like him and sent him away but he had come back. She told of how she had fought back but that there was little room. When she had broken away and run into the woods and he had followed her. How she had tripped and he caught her. She relayed how she had bitten him as he forced himself in her and then he started strangling her. 

Lee braced himself for the next part of the story but to his utter astonishment he heard Amanda say "And then I screamed and you were there, just like you always are, just in the nick of time. You pulled him off of me and the next thing I knew I was in the hospital this morning." 

Smiling at Lee's dumbfounded look, she went on. "You know, I feel like that heroine in that Ray Stevens parody, 'Along came Jones'"

At their blank looks, she went on. "Oh, you know, where the villain is always tying up the heroine and putting her in dire peril and then," Amanda burst into song" And then along came Jones, DA, DA, DA. Slow walking Jones, low talking Jones, along came long, lean, lanky Jones" Faltering a little at the confusion on their faces, she went on. "Well, he always rescues the heroine from all the silly situations the villain puts her in, just like Lee does for me."

Dr. Phaff gave her a small grin and pulled out his appointment book. After scheduling to see her the next afternoon, he began to leave. Amanda, feeling tired, went up to change for bed. Lee walked the doctor out to his car.

"Well, doc, what the heck is going on with her?" Lee asked puzzled. " Why doesn't she remember? Why is she telling everyone that it was nothing worse that an attempted mugging? I was there, I saw what was going on. "

"Lee, it's really not unusual for someone to block out things that they cannot deal with until they are able to cope. I think that Amanda just needs time. And her family around her. She's strong, she'll process this in time. You'll see." Dr. Phaff reassured Lee as he got in the car to go home. You just be there for her when she comes out of this. Your friends and I will stand with you all the way."

"Yeah," Lee muttered to himself as the doctor drove off, "I just hope I'm not on the other side of bars when you are standing with me." Lee was wondering where the police investigation since Amanda's version differed so drastically from his.

Dotty brought the boys back home after Lee called. The house settled down and Lee crawled into bed beside his sleeping wife. She stirred in her sleep and snuggled closer to him. Lee's arm's crept around her and he held her close as he drifted off to sleep, the demons silenced by her nearness.

********************************************************************************************

The next morning, Amanda rose early and fixed a special pancake breakfast for the men in her life. She was full of energy and the boys were glad to see that she was feeling better. The entire family just picked at their food, however. It was disconcerting to see Amanda acting so normal after the events of the previous days. They left for school and Amanda began to change for the office. Lee stopped her as she began chiding him. "Lee, we are going to be late, again, if you don't hurry."

Lee grabbed her by the arm and sat her down. "Relax, we have a few days off. Billy thought you might need time to recuperate from your experience."

"Nonsense" replied Amanda. " I'm fine and we have all that paperwork waiting in the office. It's not gonna do itself, Lee Stetson. So you just go get ready and let's get to it." Amanda gave Lee a playful swat on the bottom and stood tapping her foot and looking at her watch.

Giving in to the inevitable, Lee went upstairs and finished getting ready returning to Amanda in record time. She playfully inspected his hands and face, checking that he had washed. Lee felt his heart lift. Amanda in a good mood was more than he could have hoped for so soon after the attack. They left the house and headed to work. 

Once in the Q-Bureau, Amanda threw herself into organizing the back case files that always seemed to grow in their absence. Seeing her so engrossed in her work, Lee though about sneaking up behind her and kissing her. But the sight of the bruises encircling her neck stopped him.

He cleared his throat and she looked up at him. " I've.. uh.. got to go see Billy in the bullpen. Why don't you stay here and I'll be back before lunch, OK?"

"Sure, sweetheart. I've been meaning to give this place a good sorting anyway and today is a great time to do so. I'm so full of energy."

To be Continued


	3. Dawn Breaks

Disclaimer: Scarecrow and Mrs. King is copyrighted to Warned Brothers and Shoot the Moon Production. No infringement is intended. This story is copyrighted to the author and may not be used without permission.

Lyrics quoted in this section are written by Jim Steinman and performed by MEATLOAF, the song is "Rock and Roll Dreams Come Through" No copyright infringement intended.

Synopsis: Amanda is attacked in a random act of violence that has repercussions for the entire family.

Warning: Graphic violence against women is implied. Proceed at your own discretion.

Author notes: Feedback is welcome, but if you hate this story and have to trash it, please do so in a private Email to the author. I am open to discussion. This is a hard topic to read about but it touches one in every four women. Thanks to Beth for her Beta reading and support. Thanks to everyone for their feedback from the previous stories. I have incorporated some of the suggestions to make things clearer. 

There will be more stories dealing with the repercussions. Stay tuned.

Part 9

Lee fled to Billy's office in despair. He filled his superior in on the events of the previous afternoon with the police, on Amanda's strange behavior at the hospital and her story of the attack. Even more disconcerting was her attitude this morning.

"Billy, she acts like nothing has happened," Lee shouted in frustration, pacing Billy's office like a caged animal. "What the hell am I going to do? I wish, dear God," he said in a prayerful tone, "how I wish I could just let her block it all out and get on with life. I'd give anything to not have to put her through reliving that nightmare."

"I know, Scarecrow, I know." Billy put his hand on the younger agent's shoulder in comfort. "But we both know that wouldn't be good for her.. or you or her family. Things like this can't be swept under the rug, no matter how much we'd like to do so. It WILL come back sometime later, usually at the worst possible moment. Amanda can't even think of going back out in the field until this is resolved."

Billy sighed, reflecting on the directive he had received this morning from Internal Affairs. "Lee, there's more."

"Well, isn't there always," Lee, said sarcastically. "Now what? Wait, I bet I know. It's Internal Affairs. Now they want to stick their two cents into the business. Am I right?" he demanded.

"Yes, you are officially on suspension, pending the outcome of the Arlington PD investigation. I'm sorry, Scarecrow. The papers were on my desk this morning when I arrived."

"That's just great. " Lee's hand clenched into a fist and he looked as if he was looking for something to hit. Billy stepped out of reach and threw a pillow at Lee. Reflexively catching the pillow, Lee looked at Billy with a question on his face. Then, sheepishly, he put the pillow gently back in place on the sofa and laughed.

"I guess I deserved that. Sorry, Billy. It's just so hard to deal with this. I mean, it would be hard enough to help Amanda but at least we would be going through it together. Now, she's in denial and I don't know how to reach her. On top of all that, I'm suspended." He sat on the sofa with a thump and buried his hands in his head.

"Scarecrow, it's even worse. What if Arlington PD doesn't buy your version and Amanda doesn't regain her memory? Remember, we didn't let CSI take any samples. It's your word against hers. Francine and I didn't see the attack, you know."

"I know" Lee groaned. "Believe me, I know." He buried his face in his hands, unable to keep the emotions pent in any longer. 

********************************************************************************************************

Billy left the room to allow him some private time, waiting outside the door to the office. He saw Francine enter the bullpen and waved her over to him. Knocking lightly on the door, they entered to find Lee in the same position, only with tracks of tears on his face. He brushed them aside as Francine and Billy entered.

"Lee," Francine began speaking. "I can't tell you how sorry I am about last night. Is there anything I can do for you or Amanda?"

"Yeah, Francine, there is something. When you went with her in the ambulance, did she say anything, anything at all?" Lee asked hopefully.

Francine looked at Scarecrow with pity in her eyes. She hated to be the one to tell him, seeing his obvious distress but he did have a right to know. "Yes, Lee, she did," she replied softly, looking at the floor.

"Francine, please, I have to know. What did she say?" Lee pleaded.

"I asked her...You know.. How far along he had gotten." The sudden silence in the room was deafening. Billy made sure the door was securely locked. Lee stood frozen in place; hope warring with fear playing across his face.

"And?" Lee asked softly, almost afraid to hear. "Could she answer you? Francine, what did she say?"

Francine lifted her eyes to her dear friend, tears streaming down her face, and repeated what Amanda's answer had been. Scarecrow sunk deeper on the sofa, limply as if he was indeed made out of straw and the stuffing had been pulled out leaving behind an empty shell of a man. 

Francine turned to Billy for comfort and he put both arms around her, holding her close as they grieved for Amanda and Lee's pain.

****************************************************************************************************

After some time had passed, the trio found their voices again and began planning how best to resolve the problem. Billy called Dr. Phaff down to meet with them and Lee filled them in on Amanda's version of the events and her even stranger behavior this morning.

"It's like she has just forgotten the attack ever happened." He concluded in a weary tone of voice. "She's up there, as bright and perky as ever, filled with energy and cleaning."

"Sounds like she has totally blocked the whole incident. I see this often with certain types of trauma but Amanda doesn't strike me as being the type to cave in so easily. Unless…" he paused looking over at Lee. "Has she ever mentioned anything like this happening to her in the past?"

"No, never. She's always seemed well adjusted in that department, if you know what I mean." Lee smiled for the first time that day, remembering just how adjusted she was. "I think she would have mentioned somewhere in the past few years, don't you?" 

"Not necessarily, Lee. Sometimes people block this kind of thing out and live their life as if it had never happened. Or they can rationalize it away, making themselves believe that it wasn't really as bad as it seemed. It's amazing; really, the mind games people can play on themselves. But sometimes, in fact, most times, something will bring it to their mind and they either break down for a while or completely block the whole thing and become a different person."

"But, Dr. Phaff, wouldn't this type of thing have shown up in the psyche profiles you conduct in screening?" Billy asked.

"As I said, not necessarily. I think we need to give Amanda some time. Maybe with support, she will break through this barrier on her own. I'll talk to her this afternoon and see where it goes."

"In the interim, Francine, I need you to go with Lee to Internal Affairs and give a statement. Then get down to Arlington PD and give them a statement, too. We need to put this to rest. I wish now that I had let the CSI take the swabs. That would be proof positive of what really happened."

"Don't blame yourself, Billy," Francine said. "We all wanted to spare Amanda that experience."

****************************************************************************************************

Lee went back to the Q Bureau to take his wife to lunch. He and Francine had spent what remained of the morning with the Internal Affairs ghouls trying to get Lee off of suspension. The IA had agreed to allow him to continue working on administrative matters while the case with Arlington PD was being resolved. Neither he nor Amanda was allowed in the field until they both received a clearance with Dr. Phaff's office. Francine was going to talk to Detective Castleberry later that afternoon and they hoped the matter would end after her statement.

"Amanda, " Lee called out as he unlocked the door." Sweetheart, I'm starving, want to head out to Emilio's for a quick lunch?"

Amanda's head popped out of the vault as she heard him speaking. "That would be great. I am so sore. I guess these bones are getting too old to sit in the same position so long at a stretch." She exited the vault, bending and stretching as she cross the room to her husband. 

Lee was silent, knowing why she was so stiff, but unable to respond to her in her current state of mind. She reached up and kissed him on the lips. "Hummm, you taste salty. Have you been in Beaman's peanuts again? Lee, you are going to ruin that boyish figure if you keep snacking like that. How many times have I told you? "

"If you eat a good breakfast, then you'll have enough energy to last until lunch," He joined her as she recited the mantra he'd heard her repeat often in the last years. 

Swatting his butt for being sassy, Amanda retrieved her purse from the desk drawer and looked expectantly at Lee.

"Well, are you coming?" Lee quickly crossed the room and opened the door, ushering her out with a wave of his hand. Locking the door behind them, the couple headed down stairs past a somber Mrs. Marsten. 

Amanda smiled brightly at her as they exited the building. "Lee, what's wrong with her?" Amanda asked.

"Huh? What makes you think anything is wrong?" 

"Well, I haven't seen her look so upset with us since we, uh, well, you remember, the day we made a little too much noise upstairs and she came rushing up with the gun only to catch us," Amanda paused, face turning red. "Well, you know."

Lee broke out in a huge grin. Oh, yes, he remembered that day. Once Mrs. Marsten got over the shock of her discovery she had given them a lecture like the schoolmistress she resembled. She never made an official report of that incident though.

***********************************************************************************************

Part 10

The Stetson's returned to IFF after an oddly tense lunch. Amanda in a provocative mood was more than he could take right now. He had spent the time trying to make small talk like she was a stranger and he knew that Amanda was puzzled by his behavior. Usually they would have gone back to the house for a little R&R when she was in this mood. Amanda spent lunch dropping subtle hints about what she wanted to spend the afternoon doing. When that didn't work, the hints became less subtle with Lee trying to ignore them. By the end of lunch she was mad at him and Lee was going crazy.

Lee walked with Amanda up to Dr. Phaff's office and left her for her appointment. He returned to the Q Bureau and sat lost in thought, considering what Dr. Phaff had said that morning in Billy's office. Reaching for the phone, he put in a call to Joe King's office.

"I'm sorry. Mr. King is out of town. I expect him back at the end of the week. May I take a message?" Since this wasn't an emergency concerning his sons, the assistant refused to give Lee a contact number even though Lee knew full well that Joe always left one. Lee didn't think a message about Amanda's attack was a good idea .He simply asked to have Joe call his ex-wife's husband when he returned.

His next call was to Dotty but she had never heard Amanda mention anything in the past and was as mystified as Lee about her behavior. Lee was startled when the intercom phone rang. Mrs. Marsten was calling him. He had a visitor.

Lee went down the stairs slowly, hoping it wasn't Detective Castleberry coming to take him away for manslaughter. Instead he saw Phillip, standing uncertainly, staring out the window. Lee signed him in and putting a "Visitor" badge on his shirt, led Phillip up to the office.

"So, Phillip, what gives? Aren't you supposed to be in class at this time of day? How did you get here, anyway?" Lee felt a bit ill at ease. The boy's had been to visit IFF once before with Dotty after he and Amanda had come clean with everyone about their marriage. But he had never come by before in the middle of the day. Lee was afraid he knew what this was about but he didn't have any answers.

"Where's Mom?" he asked, looking around at the innocent room. "Is this her desk?" he sat in Amanda's chair and began to twirl like a little boy. "So, where's all that super secret spy stuff, huh?"

"Yes, that is your Mom's desk, she is with the doctor and we don't keep super secret spy stuff in public and PLEASE, stop spinning. You're making me dizzy." Lee took a deep breath. "SO, Phillip, why are you cutting school to come here and make me crazy?" Lee regretted those last words as soon as they left his mouth. He saw Phillip draw in on himself as he continued to spin in Amanda's chair. Softening his tone, Lee went on, trying to salvage the situation. "Phillip? Phillip, answer me please. Your Mom is not going to be happy when she finds you skipping school." Lee felt ill at easy about questioning Phillip in this area. Amanda always handled these matters.

"Mom's shouldn't be happy anyway, ya know? Not after, well." Phillip faltered but went on." Not after what happened the other night. Shouldn't she be, you know, more upset? She acts like the whole thing is just a minor mugging. You TOLD us that it was much worse. So, I guess what I need to know is," Phillip took a deep breath. " Who's telling the truth?" He stopped spinning and stared at Lee, begging him to answer.

Lee stopped breathing for a moment. He had not thought about how the boys would deal with Amanda's denial. Had not realized that it would cause them to doubt either him or their mother's word. They had taken the news so maturely that Lee, locked in his own pain, had been relieved at their reactions. He paused to consider his answer but Phillip went on without waiting.

"It's my fault, you know." He said calmly. "If I had been there, she'd be OK. We'd have changed the tire together and nothing would have happened. I should have stayed with her."

Lee was stunned again. He never dreamed that Phillip would feel responsible for the attack. 'Why not, Stetson?' chimed his demons. 'After all, you couldn't protect her,and neither could her son. Why shouldn't he feel the same way you do? Guilty, guilty, guilty!!' The demons laughed hysterically as they chanted in his brain. Lee ran his hand through his hair, distractedly, searching for words.

"Phillip, son," Lee crossed the room and put his hands on Phillip's shoulders, stopping the spinning chair in the process. "What happened to your Mom was no one's fault. It was a random act of violence. It could happen to anyone, anywhere."

In voicing those word's Lee felt a great relief as his demons screamed and fled, knowing, for the moment, that rational thought had prevailed for Lee. He would no longer whip himself over his failure to protect Amanda. Now he had to help Phillip overcome those same doubts.

Phillip shook off his hands and stood up, crossing to the window to look out. "Lee, you don't understand. I was the reason she had her own car at the concert. I was the one who left her there to drive home alone. If I had stayed to help her clean up…" his voice broke and Lee knew he was on the verge of tears. Respecting his need for distance, Lee stayed by Amanda's desk, fiddling with the small vase she usually filled with flowers from the garden.

"I should have stayed with her," Phillip went on. "I wanted so much to practice driving and I knew that Mom wouldn't let me drive home that late. I convinced Grandma to let me drive. She covered her eyes the whole way home and Jamie ragged me so bad. If I had just stayed with her…" Phillip broke down in sobs at that point. Lee crossed the room and took him in his arms. Phillip wept noisily for a few minutes and then struggled to pull himself back together. Phillip shrugged away and Lee silently handed him the box of tissues from his Mom's desk. 

"Phillip, listen to me." Lee tried to put certainty in his voice. "Your Mom is a good agent, she's had lots of training in unarmed combat. We spar together and sometimes she can beat me. And I am pretty good, you know." Sensing that he had Phillip's attention, Lee went on." We have worked together for a lot of years. Your Mom has great instincts. They have saved her life and mine on more occasions than I can tell you about. If she couldn't get away from this guy, it wasn't from lack of trying. There must not have been room to fight back. Believe me, Phillip, your Mom is one tough cookie. She put up a hell of a fight and she stayed alive. That's the important thing."

Phillip was silent, considering what Lee had told him. "But if I had been with her.." he began again but Lee silenced him with a gesture.

"If you had been there, he might have used you against her, to force her to cooperate with him. How would you feel then?"

"Lee, what will happen to that guy? I mean, will Mom have to testify against him in court? Is he in jail?"

Lee realized then that he had not told Phillip and Jamie about his actions. When he told them about their Mother's attack, the trauma was too fresh and they had not asked. Now, he had to admit his action. 

"Phillip, no, your Mom won't have to face him."

"Why not?" demanded Phillip. "You didn't let him get away, did you?"

"No, he didn't get away. He's dead."

"You shot him?" Phillip asked in awe. Even though he knew Lee was a crack shot, Phillip was shocked that he would cold bloodily kill the attacker. Maim him, Phillip could understand, but not to kill him. 

Lee squirmed under his stepson's gaze. "No, I didn't shoot him. I pulled him off your mother and I …I lost control." It was Lee's turn to look away. " I beat him to death" he whispered.

Phillip was stunned. He knew how much Lee loved his mother and that he would die to protect her. He couldn't comprehend that Lee would kill for her. Silence filled the room, neither male willing to share his feeling with the other.

"I wish you hadn't done that," Phillip finally spoke. "I wish he was here in front of me so I could carve him into little pieces for what he did to her. I want to hurt him, I want to punish him, I want to be the one to kill him" 

Phillip's monotone as he said this scared Lee. He hadn't realized that Phillip was so angry and bitter towards the man who attacked his mother. Knowing that this was not a good sign, Lee searched for a way to help his stepson. "Phillip," he began but the teenager swung around to face Lee, his eyes filled with fury and tears.

"I hate him!!" Phillip cried out. "And I hate myself!" 

While Lee stood in shocked silence, Phillip turned and ran from the room. Lee shook himself and gave chase but Phillip was disappearing down the street as he reached the front door. 

Lee returned to the building to see Mrs. Marsten shaking her head as she retrieved Phillip's "Visitor" badge from where it landed as Phillip threw it at her on his way out. 

"Scarecrow, you need to get that boy some help," she said. "He's blaming himself, isn't he?" Mrs. Marsten had been at the concert and had heard about Amanda's attack. She had a good idea why Phillip was acting so strangely.

Lee's shoulders slumped as he approached her desk. "Yeah, he is. And so was I until I tried to explain to him why it wasn't his fault. Suddenly, I could forgive myself for not being there but Phillip, well, like you said. He's going to need some more help, I'm afraid." He and Mrs. Marsten had become close in the past years as Lee mellowed under Amanda's influence.

*********************************************************************************************************

Those words echoed in Dr. Phaff's office later that afternoon as Scarecrow relayed the events of the afternoon and his reactions to them. Dr. Phaff just listened as Lee poured out all his anger, his despair at not being in time to save Amanda. Lee unloaded a lot of baggage that he didn't even realize he was hoarding until the words came out. His anger at his parents for leaving him, the guilt he felt because he had not been able to save them, even though he was a child at the time. He still fought with the unreasoning sense that it was somehow his fault that they had left him. This was the first time that Lee had ever allowed anyone to listen to his pain besides Amanda and he unconsciously had been shielding her from some things that were buried deep inside.

Dr. Phaff was impressed that Lee was able to work so much out for himself. It was good that he could deal so well with Amanda's attack. The doctor knew that Lee would be able to forgive himself because Amanda would undoubtedly forgive him when she had worked though her own pain and guilt. The doctor was worried about Phillip's reaction. He knew how children could blame themselves for things and it sounded like Phillip had a bad case of guilt. He made a note to contact the boy's school counselor to alert them to the situation. Before Lee left his office, Dr. Phaff had him sign a consent form to discuss the information with the necessary people.

His meeting with Amanda that afternoon had not gone well. She still maintained that Lee had arrived in time to prevent anything more that a roughing up by the attacker. She had no idea that the man was dead, killed by her husband. How could she even start to deal with Phillip's reaction when she couldn't even face the truth herself? Dr. Phaff planned to keep working with her in hopes that very soon she would be able to work past the blocks in her mind. Until that occurred however he wouldn't be able to help her.

**************************************************************************************************

Lee returned to the Q Bureau to collect Amanda and return home. She was her normal chatty self and Lee couldn't bear to tell her about Phillip's visit that afternoon. He hoped that she would soon deal with her own pain and he could look for help with Phillip.

Dotty had cooked dinner for the family and stayed to eat with them Phillip picked at his food and asked to be excused early. Amanda crossed to him and felt his forehead.

"I hope you're not coming down with something, sweetie. Why don't you just go on up and have an early night? I'll be up later to check on you."

Phillip rose and left the table as Jamie helped himself to the extra serving of Lasagna left by Phillip's lack of appetite. Lee caught Dotty's eye and, taking the hint, the two of them rose and began to clear the table. 

"Amanda," said Dotty. "Why don't you go take a nice hot bath? It will help you relax."

"Oh, that sounds like a good idea. I am still stiff." Amanda went upstairs to comply. Jamie, having finished his dinner, requested permission to go out and shoot some hoops with his friends down the street.

He left the house and Dotty turned to Lee, a questioning look on her face. Lee caught her up with the events of the day. With a deep sigh, Dotty shook her head when told about Phillip's reaction. Assuring Lee that she was just a phone call away if he needed her, Dotty left for her own home.

The Stetson household settled in for the evening and the still night air was punctuated only by the gentle breeze blowing in the windows.

*************************************************************************************************

Part 11

Lee awoke to the sound of Amanda's screams. Jumping out of bed, he searched for his wife, finding her cowering in the corner by the window. He ran to her and tried to take her in his arms, words flowing out of his mouth as he tried to break through her nightmare to assure her that she was safe. Amanda scampered away as he approached, her screams quieting to whimpers as she tried to avoid him. There was pounding on the bedroom door. Lee crossed over and opened it to see Phillip and Jamie's anxious faces. He opened his mouth to reassure them that it was a nightmare but was interrupted by a piercing shriek from Amanda.

Turning around, Lee saw that she was shaking violently, her hands over her eyes and she muttered something he could not make out from that distance. He and the boys crossed the room to comfort her. They were all talking at once in an effort to reach her. She continued to move away from them. Lee finally got close enough to reach out for her and try to take her in his arms. She screamed again, lashing out at him with all her might. Startled, he let go as she dashed into the master bath, slamming the door behind her and locking it. They could hear her calling out "Joe, Joe, help me. Oh, God, there are three of them, please help me." Her cries softened until all they could hear was sobbing and calls for her ex-husband. No amount of coaxing would draw her out. Jamie grabbed the phone and called his father. Finding that Joe was not home, Jamie called his grandmother. 

When Dotty arrived a few minutes later, Lee told her what had happened. He and the boys hovered around, unsure of what to do in this situation. Dotty was as mystified as they were but went up to the bedroom to talk to her daughter, cautioning Lee and the boys to stay out of sight.

"Amanda? Amanda, honey, it's Mother, come on out, baby. I'm here." After several minutes of soft reassurance from Dotty, Amanda unlocked the door and emerged, looking very shaken. Dotty took Amanda in her arms and comforted her until the shaking stopped. 

"I'm sorry to be late getting home, Mother." Amanda began." I was studying late and lost track of time. Then on the way home, I met the nicest young man. He walked me home because he said it isn't safe for a beautiful girl like me to be out late by myself. Isn't that sweet? And he thinks I'm beautiful."

Amanda got a dreamy look in her eyes and Dotty took the opportunity to turn to Lee, hovering just out of sight and shake her head. She had no idea what was going on. With gentle word's Dotty coaxed her confused daughter back in bed and tucked her in. 

Leaving the door ajar, Dotty went downstairs to talk to her son-in-law and grandsons. "I have no idea," she replied to Lee's question about what was happening. "I don't remember anything like this happening. I know she met Joe walking home from studying late but they were both living on campus at the time. Maybe we should ask him."

"I tried to call him, Grandma. But Carrie said he wouldn't be home until tomorrow sometime. She won't give me his phone number. She said 'It's too late to disturb him' " said Jamie. Feeling defensive as the group turned to look at him, Jamie went on. "Well, Mom was screaming for Dad, so I thought he could help. But Carrie hung up before I could explain. I think I woke up the baby."

"Good thought, Jamie." Lee ran his hand through his hair. "I already knew your dad was out of town. I tried to reach him earlier today. I thought he might be able to shed some light on Amanda's behavior as well."

"Well, I guess we can't do anything more tonight. Let's try to get some sleep," he went on, looking around at his family. "Hey, guys, we'll get through this, I promise. Your Mom is one tough lady. She'll be OK." Jamie looked relieved but Phillip refused to meet Lee's gaze and turning, left the room without another word. Jamie followed his brother back upstairs to try to get some sleep before school.

Lee and Dotty looked at each other, concerned about Phillip's reaction but unable to do anything at the moment. Lee got pillows and a blanket to make a bed on the couch. He didn't want to trigger anything else in Amanda's mind so he decided to sleep downstairs and let her mother be close by for the night. Dotty went up to the guest room and they both settled in for another sleepless night. 

****************************************************************************************************

The next morning dawned with the promise of a beautiful day. The Stetson household slept on, oblivious to the sun rising and the call of the birds in the trees. Amanda woke to find herself alone in bed and the house quiet. She thought that everyone had left and allowed her to sleep in. As she headed downstairs for a cup of coffee, Amanda saw her mother in the guest room, still sleeping.

Opening the boy's room, she saw that Jamie was still in bed, but Phillip was gone. Shaking Jamie to wake him, Amanda went down the stairs to find Lee asleep on the couch. She shook him as well and went into the kitchen to make coffee. The clock on the wall read 8:45. They were all running behind. 

Amanda began making breakfast, calling out to her family to hurry up. They were all going to be late. As they made their way into the kitchen Lee, Jamie and Dotty were confounded to see Amanda acting as if nothing had happened the night before. The three looked at each other and came to an agreement to keep silent. 

Jamie hurried and ate, Dotty promised to check him into school late on her way home. Lee helped Amanda clean the kitchen and went up to shower. As he emerged from the shower wearing just a towel, Amanda was entering the room.

"Umm, what a sight to walk in on." Amanda crossed the room and put her arms around Lee. "Hey, big fella, wanna make a woman very happy?"

Lee choked at her words. Unsure what was going on, he stepped away from her embrace and turned to pull his clothes out of the chest. 

Amanda followed him, taking the clothes out of his hands and throwing them back in the drawer. "What's your hurry? We're alone in the house. Didn't you say Billy had given us some time off?"

She began nibbling his chest and caressing his back. Lee's hand's moved to return her caresses. She still set him aflame with just a touch, a look. An Amanda intent on seducing him was very hard to resist. He fought to keep himself from giving in but when she stood on tiptoe and brought her lips to his, Lee was lost. He wanted, no, needed, to seek comfort in making love to his wife. He returned her kiss with gentleness, tracing the outline of her mouth with his tongue as she pressed her body to his, leaving no doubt as to what she wanted. As his tongue encountered the healing tear at the edge of her mouth, Lee drew back. Catching her wandering hands in his, Lee used them to move her away from himself. Physical intimacy alone would not work to heal this wound. He couldn't do this to her.

"Amanda," Lee's voice was rough with emotion and he forced himself to speak." Amanda, I can't do this right now. I'm sorry, honey. I'll make it up to you, later."

Lee heard Amanda 's sigh of disappointment and she huffed out of the room. Lee knew she was confused as to why he was resisting her advances, both this morning and yesterday at lunch. He continued to dress, shaking his head. Lee wondered if this could get any worse. 

Amanda exited the bathroom to get ready for the day, pointedly ignoring Lee. He sat heavily in the chair by the door. What was going on? Vowing that he would get to the bottom of this mystery, Lee finished dressing and went downstairs to check in with Billy and Dr. Phaff.

Dr. Phaff was very disturbed to hear about the nightmare episode and Amanda's statement that "there are three of them." He agreed that Lee did the right thing in resisting Amanda's overtures that morning and wanted to meet with Lee, Amanda and Joe King as soon as possible.

********************************************************************************************

Lee wanted to make up to Amanda for his actions and volunteered to go on a shopping trip for winter clothes for Phillip and Jamie. There were some basic things the two of them could buy without the boys being along. They also began looking for Christmas presents, even though that event was still several months away. Making a quick stop at the grocery store was the last item on the list. Amanda had recovered from her sulks and walking through the dairy aisle, she picked up a can of whipped cream and shook it teasingly in front of Lee. They both burst into laughter at the memories it evoked and Amanda put it in the cart. Lee sobered quickly, wondering if he was ever going to be able to have those kinds of memories with Amanda again.

When they got home, Amanda put the groceries away while Lee checked the answering machine. There was a message from Joe that he was back in town and wanting to know what was going on that Jamie had to call his home in the middle of the night! Lee went upstairs and called him back, giving Joe a quick review of the previous week. Joe agreed to meet them at the Agency to see Dr. Phaff.

As Lee called up to Amanda that they needed to leave for the Agency, there was a knock on the door. Lee opened it to find King Eddie standing on his doorstep with a bouquet of flowers. 

"Mind if I come in," he asked. Lee motioned him to enter, wondering what was going on.

"Hey, man, I talked to Billy Blue Note and he told me some of what happened. Lee, I am so sorry. How is your beautiful wife? These are for her," he said handing the flowers to Lee.

Seeing Amanda descending the stairs, Lee motioned to their visitor, unsure of what to say. Amanda held her hand out to the King and greeted him before taking the flowers from Lee's hands and going into the kitchen to put them in a vase. 

Lee took the time she was out of the room to give King Eddie a brief rundown on how Amanda was dealing with the situation. King Eddie nodded his understanding, clasping Lee on the shoulder and shaking his head at the news. He reached in his pocket and pulled out a cassette tape, which he handed to Lee. 

Speaking quietly he said, "Then I hope this will help you to deal with your pain. It's a little song a friend and I have been working on. And I think it will give you strength in the coming days."

Amanda returned from the kitchen bearing the flowers. King Eddie thanked her for all the hard work on the benefit and excused himself.

****************************************************************************************************

Lee and Amanda were on their way to work when Amanda asked what the King had given him that he'd put in his pocket. She fished it out over his protest and popped it into the cassette player. Music flowed from the speaker and they sat in silence, listening to the words.

'You can't run away forever, but there's nothing wrong with getting a good head start. 

You want to shut out the night, you want to shut down the sun, you want to shut away the pieces of a broken heart.

Think of how we lay down together, we'd be listening to the radio so loud and so strong, every golden nugget coming like a gift of the gods. Someone must have blessed us when he gave us those songs.

(Chorus)

I treasure your love, I never want to lose it,

You've been through the fires of hell and I know you've got the ashes to prove it.

I treasure your love, I want to show you how to use it.

You've been through a lot of pain in the dirt and I know you've got the scars to prove it.

Remember everything that I told you, and I'm telling you again that it's true.

When you're alone and afraid, and you're completely amazed to find there's nothing anybody can do.

KEEP ON BELIEVING…, and you'll discover, baby.

There's always something magic, there's always something new. And when you really really need it the most: That's when Rock and Roll dreams come true. The beat is yours forever, the beat is always true. And when you really really need it the most, That's when Rock and Roll dreams come through for you.'

As the music continued, Lee contemplated the words. It was as if King Eddie knew what he was going through and directed those words to his heart. There was only music and the chorus repeating until the end of the song. Lee felt a renewed sense of peace as he realized that this was King Eddie's way of telling him and Amanda that everything would work out. Music played a large part in Eddie's life and he used it very effectively.

"That's lovely," Amanda commented. " You know, I really think it could apply to us. You've been through those fires and I will always be here for you." Amanda took his hand in hers and brought it to her lips, giving it a gentle kiss.

Lee fought to stay in control. Here she was reaching out to comfort him when by all rights she was the one in need of comfort. She was the one running away from life but she had blocked out that pain. Lee knew that he had to break through her barriers in order for her to heal. His heart ached for the pain that she would have to endure but he knew that he would always be there for her. She was his treasure. 

Part 11

When they entered Dr. Phaff's office, Joe was waiting for them. Amanda looked at Lee with a question on her face. He just shook his head as he guided her to a seat on the couch and sat next to her.

Nodding a hello to Joe, Amanda was surprised to see the strain on his face. A sudden thought made her pale and she spoke as she jumped to her feet. "Joe, is there something wrong with one of the boys?"

The men surrounding her shook their heads and quickly assured her that, as far as they knew, both Phillip and Jamie were fine and in class.

Amanda crossed her arms over her chest and fixed all three of them with an evil gaze as she tapped her foot. "Then what is going on?" she demanded.

Lee pulled her back to sit beside him but she remained stiff. Lee looked imploringly at the doctor who cleared his throat. 

"Amanda, what day is it?" he asked.

"Friday, of course. Now what's going on?"

"Please, be patient, I'll tell you in a few minutes. Now, what happened last Tuesday night?"

"There was the benefit concert at the local theater for the Arts program. Phillip played with the jazz trio. He was so good, Joe," she said, turning to her ex-husband. "I wish you had been there."

"And after the concert, then what?" the doctor continued to probe.

"Well, I helped clean up the place and went home," Amanda began to falter. "But..but..Is there something I don't remember?"

Lee took her hand and began to stroke her palm. Amanda turned to him. "Lee, what's going on?" she begged him to tell her. "And how is Joe involved?" She turned her anguished gaze on Joe who couldn't meet her eyes.

"Amanda, how did you meet your ex-husband?" Dr. Phaff went on.

"We met in college," she said.

"But how, exactly, did you meet him? Do you remember?"

"Well, I guess it was through friends, one day I just started seeing him around and we started to go out," was Amanda's answer.

Dr. Phaff turned to Joe. "Will you tell us how you and Amanda met?"

"Look," Amanda had gotten to her feet again and was pacing the room. "What's that got to do with anything? It's over between us. Joe knows that and we've both moved on with our lives. What good will it do to dredge all that up now?" She was almost pleading as she paced faster and faster reminding Lee of himself when he felt helpless. Whatever the story was about the meeting, Lee would bet that it could shed some light on Amanda's current behavior. He rose and crossed to her, taking her in his arms and hugging her. 

Amanda buried her face in Lee's chest and he could feel silent sobs shaking her body. Helplessly, he looked at Joe King, the man who held the answer to this secret.

Joe was shocked at Amanda's behavior. He racked his brain to remember how he had met Amanda and then it came to him in a flash. He had put the incident out of his mind, giving it little importance in his discovery of Amanda and falling in love. Neither of them had ever mentioned it again. Slowly Joe began to tell the story.

****************************************************************************************************

Amanda had studied late at the library. She was hurrying back to the dorm before curfew and took a shortcut that lead by the edge of campus. As she rounded a corner there was a strange boy standing next to a cut in the fence. She tried to skirt around him but he moved to intercept her.

"Excuse me," she said trying to keep the fear out of her voice. "I'm going to be late getting back to the dorm." She moved to go around him but felt herself grabbed from behind. She opened her mouth and screamed. The boy and his companions laughed at her panic. 

"Go on, scream," they taunted. "No one ever comes this way unless they are as stupid as you. Oh, boys, we are going to have a good time tonight."

Amanda froze with fear. Was this what all those self-defense classes she had weaseled out of in high school were going to teach her to deal with? 

The first boy moved closer to her and put his hands on her, Amanda screamed again. He slapped her face and began to pull at her sweater.

Amanda moaned and then heard a voice from heaven.

"Hey, is everything OK back here?" A male voice sounded, coming closer with every step. "Hello, is anyone here?"

The three bullies let go of Amanda, shoving her to the ground and whispering that if she said anything they would return for her and make her pay. By the time her savior had turned the corner, Amanda was alone, sprawled on the ground. He helped her up and gathered her books. Introducing himself, Joe King offered to see her back to the dorm. At the dorm, he asked if he could see her again and they soon began dating.

****************************************************************************************************

"I finally got the story of what had happened out of Amanda on the way to the dorm but then she never mentioned it again. I thought she had just decided to forget it." Joe said defensively.

"That's alright, Joe," said Dr. Phaff. "She blocked it out and probably wouldn't have known what you were talking about if you had brought it up. You were there when she needed you. Right now, the important thing is to deal with how this experience affects the attack last Tuesday. Joe, would you mind leaving us now?"

Joe rose and crossed to Amanda, still buried in Lee's arms. Stroking her hair, Joe muttered, "I'm sorry, sweetie. I'll be here if you need me." Amanda didn't respond and Joe left.

Amanda could feel Lee's arms around her but it was as if she was wrapped in cotton wool, nothing felt real. From a distance, she heard Joe's story and felt again the terror of her younger self when she had been attacked. She had really believed that the bullies would come after her and so she made herself forget it had ever happened. She had never confronted that fear and pain. When she was attacked on the way home it all tried to come flooding back. The more time passed after the attack, the more Amanda pushed back the fear and attempted to bottle everything up again. Last night, she had awakened with a nightmare, mixing the two attacks together. When she saw Lee and the two boys in front of her it was more than her mind could take and she totally regressed into the fear of the earlier attack, calling out for the person who had saved her that time.

"Oh, Lee, I am so sorry," she said, reaching up to touch his face. "I was so confused, you must have been so hurt."

Lee shook his head as she gave him a fierce hug and looked into his eyes. Reassured by what she saw reflected there, Amanda pulled him over to the couch and sat. 

"So, I guess I've really been acting wacky the last few days, huh," she questioned.

"Well, we were pretty worried about you, Amanda," Dr. Phaff told her. "Your and Lee's stories didn't match up. Francine backed up Lee's version but there was no physical evidence. Since the man …well, the CSI decided they didn't need the samples. The police still need to hear what really happened from you."

"Oh, my gosh, I told them he had just started to attack me when you arrived!" she exclaimed. "They didn't let him go, did they?"

Lee crushed her to him, the power of his hold telling her how much he wanted to protect her. Yet, he knew that she deserved to know the truth, and to hear it from him.

"Amanda, they never had him in custody," he began. Lee glanced at Dr. Phaff who nodded and Lee continued ignoring Amanda's gasp. "When I got there, he was… he was in the middle of …hurting you and I pulled him off you. I couldn't stand what that monster had done to you. I started to hit him, and hit him. I lost control and Billy had to pull me off. But it was too late. He was," Lee paused and took a deep breath, praying that his wife would understand. "He was dead. I killed him for what he did to you."

Lee hung his head, afraid to see the condemnation he expected in Amanda's eyes. 

There was silence while Amanda took in the impact of Lee's words. Horror warred with relief and gave way to pity. Taking Lee's capable hand's in her two small ones, she looked at them. She saw for the first time the fading bruises and healing cuts from his act. She bestowed on each finger a kiss and turned them over to kiss his palms. Cupping his hands in her's, Amanda looked up to find Lee studying her with hope in his eyes. Pushing aside the pain she had yet to confront, Amanda gave Lee absolution for his actions.

"Lee, I'm so sorry for what you must be feeling. I'm sorry to be the cause of your pain. Please forgive me," she whispered. She gathered him in her arms and held him close.

Lee knew that everything would be better after this meeting. Amanda asking for his forgiveness tore at his heart. He should be the one on his knees, begging her forgiveness for being too late to save her. Breaking her hold on him, Lee got on his knees and matched actions to his thoughts. 

Shaking her head, Amanda told him that he was always there for her. There was nothing to forgive him for; nothing that had happened was his fault. What had happened was a random act, it could happen to any woman. It was proof that even someone trained in unarmed combat is sometime unable to save herself.

Dr. Phaff listened as the two lovers explained and asked each other for forgiveness. As he had expected, Amanda's heart was open and giving, despite her recent experience. He knew that they would need more time before either of them was at peace with the events of the previous week. That is what he was there for, to help them. Amanda would need to work on dealing with her pain and fear from both attacks. He knew that it would take a while but the team of 'Scarecrow and Mrs. King' would be healed.

Remembering the actions of Phillip King, Dr. Phaff knew that he had to alert them that there could be a problem in that direction as well. They would need to keep a close eye on him and help Phillip forgive himself as well.

But for now, he left them in his office to heal together while he went to write up his notes on the case.

The End


End file.
